On Memorial Day a couple of years ago, Mike went hiking with a group of church friends, and I waited for them at a cafe in Los Gatos. Just as I began reading my book, a cute elderly couple asked if the table next to me was open. I nodded and smiled, as the man proceeded to assist his wife into the booth, and she propped her cane against the small table. We sat side-by-side, as her husband ordered their food. I noticed that there were large lumps on her knuckles and immediately thought of nodules, a fairly common symptom of advanced rheumatoid arthritis.
Not thinking too much of it, I continued reading, and suddenly the woman asked, "I was wondering, where did you get your wrist braces? I've been looking for some better ones." As we chatted, she shared that she'd had rheumatoid arthritis for the past 20 years. I told her that I had been diagnosed just a month ago, and we had an instant connection. Her husband returned to the table, and together they shared of their life together and how they've managed this disease, and all the while, they beamed with smiles.
The wife- how she had cycled through countless doctors and medications, how the pain and stiffness had progressed throughout the years, how her daughter was also beginning to experience symptoms.
The husband- how he woke up throughout the night each night to give her medicine, so that she could remain on low dosages, how he could not imagine what his wife goes through, and how important it was to have the support of their family, friends, and church.
The woman sipped her coffee and chuckled, "I shouldn't even be drinking coffee (inflammation), but you just have to live your life and enjoy the little things sometimes, you know?"
And as they got ready to leave, I looked to the elderly man, "Can I ask...how it has been for you?"
"It's been easy...because Sue is easy to love," he said, with a smile, and gave his wife a wink. "In fact, we'll be married for 50 years in a week!"
Mike and I had been dating for just one year (exactly) that day. I had feared so greatly to place the burden of my health on him. I even tried to end our relationship constantly, telling him, "I don't want you to have to deal with this." I had no doubt that Mike would care for me selflessly- he was already doing that- but I felt guilty for the toll that it would take on him. Seeing a glimpse of this elderly couple's life reminded me that every marriage has its challenges, and each person faces trials of their own; marriage is an enduring commitment of joyful sacrifice and loving selflessness.
We've now been married for one year--and while I've often taken out my frustration, fears, and loneliness on him, Mike has been selflessly serving me and unwavering in his trust in the Lord. And as he sees and graciously loves me at my worst, the love of God is so clear.
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” - Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
Not thinking too much of it, I continued reading, and suddenly the woman asked, "I was wondering, where did you get your wrist braces? I've been looking for some better ones." As we chatted, she shared that she'd had rheumatoid arthritis for the past 20 years. I told her that I had been diagnosed just a month ago, and we had an instant connection. Her husband returned to the table, and together they shared of their life together and how they've managed this disease, and all the while, they beamed with smiles.
The wife- how she had cycled through countless doctors and medications, how the pain and stiffness had progressed throughout the years, how her daughter was also beginning to experience symptoms.
The husband- how he woke up throughout the night each night to give her medicine, so that she could remain on low dosages, how he could not imagine what his wife goes through, and how important it was to have the support of their family, friends, and church.
The woman sipped her coffee and chuckled, "I shouldn't even be drinking coffee (inflammation), but you just have to live your life and enjoy the little things sometimes, you know?"
And as they got ready to leave, I looked to the elderly man, "Can I ask...how it has been for you?"
"It's been easy...because Sue is easy to love," he said, with a smile, and gave his wife a wink. "In fact, we'll be married for 50 years in a week!"
Mike and I had been dating for just one year (exactly) that day. I had feared so greatly to place the burden of my health on him. I even tried to end our relationship constantly, telling him, "I don't want you to have to deal with this." I had no doubt that Mike would care for me selflessly- he was already doing that- but I felt guilty for the toll that it would take on him. Seeing a glimpse of this elderly couple's life reminded me that every marriage has its challenges, and each person faces trials of their own; marriage is an enduring commitment of joyful sacrifice and loving selflessness.
We've now been married for one year--and while I've often taken out my frustration, fears, and loneliness on him, Mike has been selflessly serving me and unwavering in his trust in the Lord. And as he sees and graciously loves me at my worst, the love of God is so clear.
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” - Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
